Police Draw the Line at Touching Elm Grove Man's Lap Towel

After officer interrupts driver's ardent and all-too-public auto-erotic episode with a phone-in partner, car is towed away as a biohazard.


Warning: This is icky.

At 1:11 p.m. Tuesday, a 58-year-old Elm Grove man was arrested in Wauwatosa for lewd and lascivious behavior after police were called to Mians Mobil gas station at 717 N. Mayfair Rd.

The report, from the manager of the station, was that the man had been sitting in his car at the pay phone for 40 minutes, masturbating in full view of patrons and employees.

A patrol officer pulled in behind the man’s car, walked up to his driver’s window unnoticed, and saw that the man had a towel spread in his lap and was grasping his exposed penis, the police report said.

The man quickly tried to cover himself and denied having done anything wrong – the towel was to keep him dry while he had his window open during the rain, he said – but the officer informed him that he had already seen what he was doing.

The man then admitted that he was using the pay phone to call a sex line because his wife checks his cell phone for lewd calls.

The gas station manager asked officers to move the man’s car because it was blocking a delivery truck, but finding the towel still spread on the driver’s seat, it was decided that “no officer would be moving the vehicle” because of a potential biohazard.

The suspect was arrested, ticketed and released.

His car was towed.

The gas station manager did not say why he waited 40 minutes to call police.

robert heule November 06, 2012 at 01:23 AM
I hear that this guy once worked for a fishing tackle manufacturer. He started out as an apprentice baiter, then he became a journeyman baiter and finally became a master baiter.
Absolutelyfabulous November 06, 2012 at 01:56 AM
Another good reason to have some Purell in the glove compartment/purse. Thank god for the Purell wipes at the grocery stores to wipe off the handles of the carts.
Marie November 09, 2012 at 04:51 PM
You are all sick! What he did was a sin. Read your BIBLE! It's not a joking matter. If kids read your comments you just gave them ideas! That's not right. He should have been reported to the police immediately and the authorities ordered that the phone be antiseptically cleaned. NO JOKE!
JW November 09, 2012 at 05:03 PM
I dont read fiction. The guy in this story might be a deviant... or he might not be... he might just be kinda lonely or depressed or what not. I am not saying what he did was right, or good. But... most things in life can be joked about. If kids learn to have a sense of humor, that will suit them well in life. I believe having a sense of humor was in the second set of commandments that Moses dropped.
Michael McClusky January 16, 2013 at 07:45 PM
Maybe we should ban all pay phones. Clearly their very existence only encourages such deviant behaviour!


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