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How Does This Progressive Story End? It’s Up to You

Like a progressive dinner where each person contributes a course, this progressive story needs your help to reach its logical conclusion. What do you think happens to Shaz, the cat, and Henrietta, the cow, and others we may not have met?

The cat, who answered to Shaz and spoke for the first time in a parallel universe, revealing something that would never be forgotten. What was it? (Patch file photo)
The cat, who answered to Shaz and spoke for the first time in a parallel universe, revealing something that would never be forgotten. What was it? (Patch file photo)

You know those vague Facebook status updates that turn out to be a game to spread awareness about breast cancer or something (don’t ask me how it does that, exactly), and then require you to copy and paste and trap some of your own friends?

Yeah. That one.

I was punked the other day, so I played along like  good sport. What happened was a complete surprise. But my friends bailed, so I need for you to finish the story in the comment section. The idea is to pick up where the last person left off. Get creative and have some fun with it.

The story so far:

Status update: I've just found out I've been cheated on for the past five months.

Comment: The cat’s in the library and  the squirrel hears the racket after the candlestick fell on the floor. Oh, but wait, how did the candlestick get in the library? Oh, but wait, she doesn't have a candlestick …. the plot thickens.

Next comment: Your cat has moved in with the neighbor.

Me: Oh, goody, a continuing story! My cat moved in with the neighbor, where she promptly bit the dog's nose and scared the children, who scampered like kittens and hid under the bed.

Next comment: Unbeknownst to them, a door in the floor opened up and they fell into another dimension. Much to their surprise, the cat was there waiting for them to lead them on their journey.

Next comment: They followed the beckoning cat down a long, twisting and slightly foul-smelling hallway, lined with stacks and stacks of National Geographic magazines. Every now and then, they'd climb and later descend half-flights of stairs, and eventually they passed through a half-opened door into what appeared to be an automobile chop-shop, complete with appropriately suspicious-looking men in filthy shop jumpsuits wearing welder's masks.

Next comment: Each welder was just putting finishing touches on extremely beautiful motorcycles fitted with what appeared to be wings, wings that could carry them and their motorcycles in to the moon filled night skies. The cat led the way. With a flick of her tail, she jumped on the first bike, revved the motor, flew through an opening in the wall, and soared above the trees into cloudless sky.

Next comment: Suddenly, a meteor came hurtling across the sky, burning brighter than any meteor has ever burned and lighting the cat’s way as she steered the bike, with more might than has been mustered by any cat ever in the evolution of cats, into a parallel universe, where she encountered Henrietta, a cow who had been stranded there since missing her mark, the moon. Henrietta offered a chilling warning that caused the cat's tail, flicked with such carefree abandon only hours before, to swell 10 times its normal size.

Next comment: The cat told Henrietta, (this was the first time the cat ever spoke and everyone in the parallel universe could hear it and wondered if it would be the last) that her name was Shamoozela, but she would also answer to "Shaz". The tail was now undulating and radiating a fragrance so alluring that all the tribes, clans, and societies within 30 light years paused to breathe in the mystical aroma. And as Shaz gracefully levitated above the plume of blueish haze the tail shimmered translucent and what was revealed would never be forgotten.

Next comment: When Shaz revealed her secret, the galaxy came alive. Stars that had only twinkled before sprouted legs that would carry them across the sky in a flawless pointe. The planets turned on their axes and spun in perfect synchronicity to turn back time and return Henrietta to her rightful place – for, it was revealed, she was not a cow at all, but a prima ballerina who preferred double malt scotch with a beer back over the milk the ballet master insisted his dancers drink to keep their bones strong. As punishment, the demanding and monstrously insane artistic director whipped up a spell and sent her to an “udder” universe.

And then ... and then ...The story ends there. It’s up to you to finish it. Tell us what happens next in the comments.


K. Scott July 07, 2014 at 08:53 AM
Take you meds Elizabeth, you sound like Ann Coulter and we can only hope you're not cursed with her legs or Shaz either.
Elizabeth July 07, 2014 at 11:46 AM
"Take your meds" "You're a racist" "You're a homophobe" "You're a religious freak" "Stop watching Faux News" and more....Saul Alinsky tactics that don't work on the folks trying to save our Republic as Founded.
Sue Czarnecki July 07, 2014 at 12:30 PM
Who's this Elizabeth - who hides behind the name of the Queen?
K. Scott July 07, 2014 at 01:22 PM
Take your meds Elizabeth, you're out of control, very angry and I hope your not a NRA member because your not stable enough to own a gun.

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